Death.

For some people, it is a saddening an life changing event in ones life. 

And for others it is a mesmerizing feat, that teaches us many things.

Death, has opened my eyes for so many years.

And, it continues to do so...

We never really know how long we have on this glorious earth,

And it could all be taken away in an instant.

Death is just another reason i have so many walls up,

A person comes into my life, and there taken out whenever God feels fit to take them.

Selfish dont you think?

I dont understand the whole scheme of life sometimes...

And i guess ill never understand it fully,

But when can a person get a break?

I guess never.

It seems when were at our lowest in life, we just keep getting kicked.

Everything piles up til we cant take it.

Sometimes it feels as though God is telling us to give up...

BUT im gonna hold my head high,

And keep the positive out look i have had instilled in me, 

And make the best of the circumstances that are in front of me.

Left foot in front of the right foot, and away we go....

Certain things trigger certain memories.

I go through so many memories in one day it is rediculous, 

Most of them i wish i could keep burried, an impossible task...

But i still wish...

In my life...

The bad memories out weigh the good. 

But i wouldnt change my past and life, for the woman i have become.

Sometimes i wish life was like a fairy tale or a movie and some amazing man

Would come into my life and wisk me away and the rest of my life would be magical.

This isnt a movie.

Nor is it a fairy tale.

Its real life and the world is a cold, cruel bitch.

This school year has come and gone so fast,  i honestly dont believe it myself.

But i've wanted the summer time to get here so bad! 

And im now a senior.

It seems like yesterday i was just in kindergarten causin trouble.

And i can hardly believe in less than a year ill be out in the real world.

That, at times, scares me to death.

I mean i have a good idea of what it is like, im not a sheltered child for petes sake.

But i havent had the full effect of it yet.

This year im going to change the way i do things and create a better me.

Im tired of just going to school and working.

Im going to live more, laugh harder, and embrace things full force.

Senior year is supposed to be the best year of our lives, an imma make damn sure that it is.

You guys are the best, and i love u all so much.

And im sure yall will be here to watch my adventures unfold :D

LOVEEEEEEEEE KK :)

The past is somethin i want to leave behind and forget and yet when i try to do somethin it is always brought up.

I get that ive been a screw up and a failure, but i am not perfect, never admitted to being perfect, Nor do i want

to be perfect. I am content with myself just the way i am, those mistakes have made me the person i am today

and i wouldnt take it back if i could.  I'm sick and tired of going through the same barriers each and everytime.

Get over yourself, im not the same person i was back then, 

But you know what: you can judge me, put me down, whatever.

I. DONT. GIVE. A. FUCK.

I'll prove your stupid ass wrong.

At one year here at OGLC:

I have seen many things, said many things, and done many things.

Met so many people that I now call my family<3

and..

Have grown to be the person you see today.

This site, the people on this site, have made me a better person.

i learn from u all each and every day.

Everyone has a story to tell and i enjoy listening,

and through those stories i gain wisdom and knowledge, 

and my perspective of things change.

I wanna thank you guys for accepting me the first time you guys met me.

And i wanna thank you guys for continuously allowing me to be apart of this family,

and apart of your lives, you all mean so much to me <33

                           - with love kk <33

So, I got my ACT scores back today and honestly it upset me.

The score i got was less then I had hoped for.

I'm mad and disappointed at myself.

I worried so much about it for this very reason and my fears are now confirmed.

And to be honest I have no idea why i freaked so bad about them to begin with,

besides I, myself wanting the satisfaction of doing better than my dead beat brothers,

and making my mom proud of me.

I'd love to make my dad proud, but i know thats never gonna happen...

I try so hard and never reap the benefits I'm looking for.

Sometimes it makes me sick, 

Maybe I should stop trying so hard to see the benefits..

<3

+ It makes me sick how all our lives were instilled in our heads that we can 

do anything we want, reach for the stars, blahblahblah, and yet one test can 

determine our futures. >.>

+ It annoys me how whores put down all the amazing, fun people and everyone

envys them, why would u wanna envy a future herpes carrier?

+ Why am i so bipolar? If you can tell me that ill marry you.

+ Why must we all be put under so much pressure to choose a career? What if i 

just wanna be a damn coloring book colorer. I'm so frustrated with college and the 

future, I wanna live my life and be the happiest i can possibly be.

+ Taking one day at a time is how i'm living these days. 

+ Who wants to take me on vacation? I could use a relaxing, good time:)

+ I miss the people on this site, this site and the people here are my rock,

my escape, my safe place, my haven; whenever i am feeling anything i can come

on here and let everything go, this is my little place of sanity.

I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH <3

              but shhh keep it on the dl :D

Its the wee hours of the morning, I'm up late, again. Layin in bed thinking bout things.

What is love?

Thats whats on my mind this time. I'm sure all of us have had our own expierences with love, I'm sure we all express it and describe it in differant ways and im sure we all feel it differantly. Love is a scarey thing, but then it makes me calm at the same time. Love has no rules. Love thinks its a badass, and can make its own rules. How can someone who has been hurt so bad by the people that are supposed to love her the most ever truely love someone? I probably have the most trouble with "Love."  Love to me is like a baby - its needy, always there, annoys the shit out of you at times, but in the end you realize you need it, or without it you would be heartbroken.. 

SOMETIMES i just wanna tell love to fuck off, but it never goes away. Ever. 

Your an evil no good emotion; but in the end i cherish you and hold you dear to my heart.

 BUT my life wouldn't be complete without love, i'd miss it every single day.

I will embrace it when it comes and hope for the best, aye?

BAH!! Fuck you early morning thoughts....

"Love is patient, Love is kind, It does not envy, It does not boast, It is not proud."

                                                                   1 Corinthians 13:4

Yes. Most Definetly. Absolutely. Positively. Si. 

This year has been nothing but let downs, heartache, and death.

I want a fresh start to my life, and that starts with 2010.

It will be differant. I'm gonna make damn sure of it.

I'm not holding back and I'm not gonna settle for less than what I deserve.

The only thing good about this year was joining a chat site that is loving, understanding, and my family without a doubt.

Oglc is my home,

is my rock,

A place I can come to and feel loved,

And can always be happy at.

I love u all, and happy new years

<3Katherine; kk.

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